Have you ever felt the gnawing feeling in the back of your mind that no matter what you do things will ultimately end? The weekend, the new phone, car, or remodel - each item, person or experience loses it’s newness. We are left finding ourselves wanting again. As if this weren’t disappointing enough, when we get down to it we wrestle with the inevitable, but in the end we all age and our bodies will break down and each of us will die. The looming thought that everything we strive for will ultimately lead to an end is something that must be faced rather than feared.

So what do we do in the face of our mortality? Avoid, replace, erase. We do everything we can to distract ourselves. We put on music, go for a run, watch the game, turn to food, alcohol, or people pleasing. Swing the other way and we set goals, skip a meal, and move towards focus, fixation and obsession. Nothing that we do can escape the reality of our mortality. It is appointed for each of us to die.

There are a few ways this can go from here: stockpile, obsession, and loneliness

Stockpile: In this mentality, we think that we only live once so we hold tightly to everything we love and hold dear. The danger in this, I’ve found, is that we can easily become consumed with the idea of the present and the fear of losing what’s in front of us. We overprotect, overstep and obsess anxiously about losing what we love most. The gifts and good things we love can easily become idols, something we find ourselves enslaved by. Even with the best of intentions we seek to create utopias and can find misguided hope in the illusion of safety.

Obsession: I once wrote my own obituary. You should try it. It basically summarizes what’s most important to you. As soon as I finished writing it I immediately realized that in the end I have no say over what people thought about me. Do you know why? Because I will be gone. I will be in a much better place where peace abounds for all eternity. I’m starting to think that maybe we’ve put too much emphasis in stockpiling for our legacy. I like the idea of generational change in families and healing, not what people are going to say about me when I’m gone. Besides, fear is not a good motivator to live my life so people can say nice things when I’m gone. Trust me, I won’t care about these kind of obsessions anymore. I think as husbands, wives, and parents we can obsess about the outcomes with our relationships. We easily find ourselves chasing something that ultimately we cannot control.

Loneliness: If you’ve ever felt debilitated by grief and saddened to the point of sickness, you know that you need something bigger than yourself to help pull you out of the slump you’re in. The problem is you feel weak, skeptical and prone to isolation. I’ve become fond of the term, “risk or rust.” The way I see it, if we don’t risk then we will rust. Taking risks often includes advocating for ourselves and others and choosing to willingly move into the seemingly unknown. It may be dark, scary and at times we will feel alone, but we know that if we stay stuck we will ultimately rust. When I think of risk I think of living life more fully in Jesus. We do this when we move towards people and share our lives with them. Research continues to disclose that secrets kill and that the solution to shame is vulnerability. The Alcoholics Anonymous motto rings true that we are only as sick as our secrets.

In an age of obsession we live in an over-informed and fast paced society. We are living most days in a state of constant anticipation. What’s next? Being able to keep up and not get left behind is something we all fear. We’re actually given a solution to the trap of stockpiling, obsessions and the fear of losing what we love most. Believe it or not, it’s not our most natural instinct to hold it tighter. The destination is actually not earthbound at all. Jesus tells us where to put our attention, treasures and expectations, “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” The heart refers to our emotions, reason and will.

Where is your treasure? Find that and you will can predict the chasing of your heart.

Meaningless!

Imagine winning the world’s greatest lottery. Let’s say you were given the greatest riches any man or women has ever seen. Then, imagine being given divine wisdom. Wisdom and riches, we’re talking about unparalleled money, power and fame. There once was a man named Solomon. He was the richest man of his time and certainly the wisest. Each year Solomon was given thousands of pounds in gold. He was literally trading cities for gold, big stuff! The story can be found in the book of Ecclesiastes and it’s fascinating. And yet, Solomon uses the word meaningless over 35 times in the book. In fact, he opens the book with this, “‘Meaningless! Meaningless!’ says the Teacher. ‘Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless.’” I’ve learned that the word meaningless is translated vapor, smoke - words related to the temporary state. Things will come and things will go, satisfaction will come and it will wain. As a result, Solomon begins to draw deep conclusions about life. Have you ever questioned the meaning of life? Have you doubted your faith or that you are lovable? Have you found yourself striving to prove meaning to yourself or to others? When these things don’t hold up have you blamed yourself, others or God? Solomon examines our expectations and asks some very difficult questions.

Chasing the Wind

The writer of Ecclesiastes gives warning of our trying, keeping score and insatiable efforts to chase the wind. We find ourselves chasing something we cannot contain and at what cost? Efficiency and productivity often come at the expense of intimacy with those we love most. Bonnie Ware, an Australian nurse spent many years working in palliative care. After the years of hearing from the dying in the final stages of their lives she compiled what she says are the top 5 regrets:

I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
I wish I hadn't worked so hard.
I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
I wish that I had let myself be happier.

Solomon asks what we gain from all of the toil of our labor. In other words, when we throw ourselves into our work, expectations of ourselves and others what are we gaining? The image that I see is one Solomon cautions us with, do not chase the hevel, or as he says it, “the chasing of the wind.” Some refer to this as the rat race, endless notifications, workaholism found in work or in ministry, perfectionism, the fear of failure, people pleasing and the list goes on.

Hope Restored

The older I get the more I am finding greater joy in the simple things. After living most of my life as a “night owl” I’ve come to realize that there’s nothing like the gift of shalom in the quiet morning with a warm cup of coffee. It’s a long pause, a sunset, stillness, and breakfast with a friend that takes interest in your life. It’s the intimacy with my wife and children and those I love dearly. It’s also the anticipation leading up to a desired trip with friends or family, swimming in the rain, restoration in conflict and God revealing His loving presence and much needed truth in a time of doubt, confusion or shame.

Let’s pause and reflect, where are we right now? Is fear our motivator?

Are you finding yourselves stockpiling what you’re afraid of losing?
Are you pre-occupied or obsessed with yourself and your body, your relationships or your safety? This is an especially high calling for us as parents. Are we trusting the LORD with their lives?
Are you chasing the wind? At what cost?

If you answered yes to these questions I encourage you to continue the pursuit of reflection. Don’t give up and don’t isolate yourself. Take inventory of your life as Solomon once did. Take time with Jesus in the quiet morning and enjoy Him. Surround yourself with people that have the courage to be honest with you. Pay attention to what motivates you and be honest with the LORD and those in your life.

Resources

40/40 Vision

The Treasure Principal

A Look at Ecclesiastes

JoshNeuerLLC Counseling of Greenville SC

Josh Neuer is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Greenville, SC. Josh helps individuals, families, businesses and communities receive hope and healing that literally changes the world! Josh is passionate about empowering meaningful change in people including growing communities and team cultures. He is the founder of Joshua Neuer, LLC Counseling, a committed husband and father, and is absolutely crazy about relationships!